update

an august in-between

/ Strictlystephanie / Leave a comment

it’s been a hot minute since I actually sat down and took stock and did an “update” in this space, so here we are.

I started August on the beach– running & sunning & trying to be present ahead of spending the last few weeks at home before I made The Big Move™.

And then The Move™ The short version of the story:

I hopped on a plane to LAX to Denver, CO on the 23rd of August to start a year of service within a program that is similar to the Peace Corps, but instead within the Episcopal Church. After almost a year of deciding, discernment, interviews & placement I decided upon Denver– and will be serving within a partner agency that supports homeless populations in finding work & giving them a hand up where they need it.

But of course, COVID had hit.

The plan was to continue with the year– the previous corps group had their year pulled out from under them, it seemed. But they got through it and urged us to do the same. In order for our program to be successful, we developed painstaking COVID planning, part of which included with us getting to Denver to drop off our living supplies & then all 5 of us quarantining at a lodge in the woods for 2 weeks, to make sure we could operate as a pod (seeing as we would be sharing a house among the 4 of us later.)

And so, with packing and moving and finishing up my summer work position and saying goodbye to the people & places I’ve lived for the biggest, most important chunks of my life thus far… it’s been a ride.

And this summer has just, all in all, felt very in-between.
When nothing is certain, anything is possible and I have no idea what to expect after this and I’m not planted anywhere or with anyone permanently right now and it’s all just sort of….suspended in air.

Exhilaratingly, immensely freeing.

With that said, here are some happenings in those categories I used to do in this space:

read/reading/re-reading // We were shipped a few books to finish ahead of the start of our service year– all great titles in their own right, though there is pLEnTY of room for criticism (esp. when it comes to Daring Greatly, written in like, 2012). But all books, reading them now, in this time, offered some great critical perspective:

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
Jane Crow: The Life of Pauli Murray by Rosalind Rosenberg
An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

Another one I’ve been reading is:
From Social Media to Social Ministry by Nona Jones, as well as The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner

writing // this POST! [<3 finally, it’s been so long!], reflections, and letters home.

learning // to hold and sit with a variety of opinions, experiences, and Truths at one time. And learning when to step away, when conversation is no longer respectful nor constructive. And learning to lead with love & trying to assume the best in people from the outset and if it goes down from there, then let it down gently. Firmly, but gently.

doing / working on //

  • getting better at napping
  • journaling
  • filing & paying my taxes
  • celebrating the artistic work of friends
  • photography as a spiritual practice
  • editing services (well, I was, for the majority of August, I’m done now.)
  • Getting adjusted to this altitude!
  • Building a labyrinth! 😀
  • Climbing mountains.
I’ve never set intentions upon, or blessed, or smudged something so special. This is a “goddess labyrinth” within a grove of Aspen trees (also called “goddess trees”!). It was imagined, planned, framed, blessed, & built by the goddesses gathered together today in this thin space.

eating // the delicious cooking of the chefs of Cathedral Ridge, which has been a wonderful whirlwind of vegetarian & vegan options.

drinking // coffee, LOTS of water (altitude sickness is a thing!!!), & La Croix

listening // to so many new, beautiful things.

https://open.spotify.com/embed/playlist/5ox3cXmbDGmk4xYIT9hUvv

being inspired //  by this space, and the people who fill it. We’re all from different places, bringing our own lives & experiences to one table and doing our best to show up for each other in this *iNsANe* world we are occupying right now.

laughing // with my newfound community — at bad first date stories, happy-wholesome moments in The World’s Toughest Race, and just at ourselves as we navigate the wilderness.

thinking // about ~so many things~. The pandemic. This experience. This experience within a pandemic. the joy & pleasure of slowing down and not having to work at break-neck speed every day. About my family back home. About my smoller brother starting college.

trying // to take it slow, get used to the altitude, stick to a decent sleep schedule, mentally prepare for the weeks ahead, compile a list of last-minute house things I’ll need from Target, and, as lovingly as I can, interject & interact with the racist things people have been putting on social media. Between the conventions going on right now….The RNC definitely has put a LOT of shit on blast and some of this fear-mongering & hate-provoking rhetoric has to stop. It’s so….dehumanizing at times and I hate that the political arena is so focused on slinging that mud and hate around.

hoping // that this too shall pass, that we innovate with love and consideration, and that we have the courage to collect our siblings and forge a better way, using what we now know and what we have within us.

loving // this time to disconnect & connect in nature, finally being able to see that Colorado blue sky that I’ve merely been hearing about– with some rain, the sky has cleared of smoke and we can finally see a jagged mountain range off in the distance that before I had no idea was there.

praying // for the people affected by fires, for those suffering from flagrant injustice, for those enclosed in drought, for those traveling, for those affected by COVID-19, and for our country, as we navigate hostile & triggering media & political environments.

a smol rock cairn in the outdoor cathedral.

july.

/ Strictlystephanie / Leave a comment

A little over 6 weeks it’s been, and it feels as if my summer has been transformed into something…something of the likes of a Slinky Dog– strangely elongated, but regrettably compressed at any moment, simultaneously.

I had waited and wanted for so long to get to Ireland-– and to write all about it [if you’re curious, I’ve hyperlinked my adventures]–and now I’m home again and it’s crazy, it feels like it was yesterday and yet 1 year ago.

I watched an interview with Billie Eilish on some YouTube binge recently– she tells her younger self to “never put your feelings on the internet. Ever. EVER.” Of course, I saw this *after* I had temporarily taken down this site, this space, littered with a variety of crap from the ages LOL.

But I’m thankful to have taken the time away. What a lovely time to learn big lessons– observe ourselves from the inside out trough the lens of a different culture… It’s very easy to be caged in and consumed with what’s here, what’s around, what’s immediate.

It was time for a break.

And being in a different country was a *huge* help, huge change of pace, lovely opportunity to learn new things and meet new people. And what a wonderful thing it was to step back, re-evaluate, and reconcile. And even scold myself a bit for unnecessary dramatics. #y i k e s

I also got a taste of “school stress” [it wasn’t just a tourism trip, after all], but I feel like I gained back a lot of the productivity that I lost, a lot of the passion I had lost, for learning, among other things. Finishing the “semester” with good grades again in a while felt good.

read/reading // 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan Peterson.
I bought this book [along with another one I’ll start shortly] at one of the big bookstores in Galway, Ireland. This is a *delightful* mix of “abstract ethical principles, psychology, mythology, religion, and personal anecdotes”. Right up my alley, in my genre of shame [nah, my genre of UN-shame]: The Self Help Book. This guy has absolutely NO chill and straight up disses Elmo. Among other things. I find his bluntness and personal anecdote style personally hilarious. I’m trying to work through a chapter or so before bed cuz a) good habits I guess but also b) a steadfast way to get through the book. And I don’t mean “get through”– it’s a great book. A page turner not in the way a fiction read would be, but more in a sense of “oh I’m excited to see what he has to say about this next” kind of thing.

writing // here! But also a bare-bones outline of a sermon. I was asked to say words about my “mission trip” at my home church and I have all these ideas and concepts and phrases and moments swirling around my head to touch on [maybe?] but they just need to settle, and work their way into coherent, somewhat English sentences.

learning // the art of seeking positive intent, the value of listening deeper to others [and generally talking less]. Also learning to slow down, to take time, as well as learning to pay closer attention to my body and emotions/thoughts that pass their way every day through my skull.

doing / working on //

  • getting my sleep schedule back on track! I know I’m past the getting over jet lag phase but like I need to stop sleeping at 1 am and still waking up early!
  • doing design for a multitude of clients, all which are slightly different mediums, so it’s a lovely and challenging variety I’ve got to look at 😀
  • Going outside more and trying to be healthy
  • Seeing John Mayer in concert again!! What an unreal experience. No opener, just pure Mayer. Perhaps one of my favourite moments was him shredding on the guitar for “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room”. He’s honestly just so stupid talented. And then I find out for his NY show he just played through the entirety of the album Continuum…just because he could. What a Mayer thing to do.
  • shaping up my portfolio
  • looking into some re-arranging/rebranding!
  • trying to finish off my travel blogging series of my last weeks in Galway. It’s funny– Henry David Thoreau writes in his culminating thoughts in Walden:

  • “It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves.”

  • And I *felt that!* Well, before I left the US obviously… But even in Galway [!!! we were there for 4 weeks out of the whole 6]– I felt myself falling in, getting settled, growing used to a novelty that had previously shaken me upon arrival, and it reminded me– reminded me to keep writing, keep processing, even as I kept “adjusting” and getting “too comfortable” because it would be over soon.
  • trying to keep up with a daily gratitude Trello board as a budding mindfulness practice [because who am I kidding I suck at writing things down on paper sometimes!]

eating // yogurt! spaghetti! oatmeal! apples! and LOTS of PRINGLES LOL [so idk why, but being in Ireland, and being able to secure Pringles in Ireland just SET OFF a craving for them… the sour cream and onion ones, that is…WEIRD.]

drinking // more water. And coffee. I swear, I was dehydrated for 6 weeks, and I’m *just* now getting to correct it. Can’t mess it up now!

listening // to a whole host of things. A lot of GOOD music just dropped recently, and I think this playlist highlights at least a good chunk of it, mixed in with some of my older, guiltier pleasures that I treasured both here and abroad:

[https://youtu.be/23R7BcjWU_Y]

being inspired // by the memories I have from Ireland…now stored as photos, detailed stories, and academic work. I am also constantly inspired by the work people are doing around me–whether that’s philanthropic work, musical work, artistic work…Idk. Everyone, it seems, is falling into their creative grooves and I am HERE. FOR. IT. 😀

laughing // aloud at the newest horoscope meme instagram pages I have discovered. There are times where I’m reluctant to accept my Aries-ness but this page just seems to reinforce the nuances every. single. time I scroll through. It doesn’t help that my friends enable me too, sending stuff that’s too relatable. XD

thinking // about how some days are better than others. Some days it’s easier to just launch yourself out of bed and say “OKAY! Let’s DO THINGS! X, Y, Z, GO!”, and then some days are absolute balls of mud [whatever that means].

trying // to stick to my to – do list! Er, “accomplishments” list. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change. I’ve started keeping a list of all the things that need to get done in one place, titled with the date and “accomplishments”. Somehow, “accomplishments” feels a bit lighter and more distinguished the slogging-through-the-day connotation of “to-DO list”. Ugh. Just sounds weighty. Accomplishments sounds so much more…accomplished? Idk. Just a new thing I’m trying.

❤

hoping // to have the time and patience to catch up on all those uh…aforementioned “accomplishments”. There are a lot of puzzle pieces that need to fall into place before I can say I can start a successful fall semester… between the bills and my car being a pain in the patootie and the scheduling I am trying to make work in the next weeks– patience and discipline will be the key for these.

loving // the bursts of energy and semblance of a routine I’ve been able to utilize recently. It’s getting me pumped up and feeling ready to tackle senior year [!!!??!!howdidwegetherewowhelp]

praying // for my friends. For my family. For those who are in transition right now. For those who are going through a tough time. For those who are having trouble seeing past the darkness. For those who feel unworthy, under-appreciated, and unloved. For those who are working towards their goals. For safety as I embark on these next few weeks, for moving back to school, for patience, for those watching, for motivation and a renewed sense of purpose, for tact, and for resilience. And I pray for peace– that the peace I’ve found over the last months remains something light and easily carried.

xx

steph

may.

/ Strictlystephanie / Leave a comment

And just like that, I’m done.

When I say done, I mean primarily done with school. Exams have come and gone and BOY am I so thankful for that. This year kicked my ass (in a great way) and I’m ready for a new perspective, especially this summer.

I’m now toggling between life at home and packing up an apartment and it’s been pretty fun so far.

You don’t really realize how stressed you’ve been until all of it is lifted almost entirely at once. Sure, it hasn’t completely gone away, and there are a new genre of stressors to worry about (all the prep for going out of the country, etc.), but for some reason these are *insanely* preferable that those of academia.

read/reading // Finishing Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey, one of my all time faves. For a time that requires energized focus now more than ever, this book is getting me back on track.

writing // down my packing list. And trying to come up with a reasonable plan for what this space will hold in the coming months.

learning // that it isn’t going to be 100% all the time. You can’t be on all the time, you can’t be hot *all the time*, you can’t expect perfection. Sure, there are spikes of highs and lows, but what’s important is to be ever cognizant of where you are and how you’ll connect your current step to the next, and how you can do the best you can with what ya have (:

doing / working on //

  • packing! [my life up at school and bringing it back home, then from home for abroad]
  • doing design for an upcoming conference in October about teaching learning technologies!
  • PACKING for my STUDY ABROAD IN IRELAND THIS YEAR!! 😁😁😁🎉🍀
  • Going outside more and trying to be healthy
  • shaping up my portfolio
  • Recording instrumentation and vocals for the first time ever in studio for a university project [!!] I was able to work with such talented, committed people and I am so proud of the work they put forth and how it turned out!

eating // too much gelato [can’t complain!] Not enough actually healthy things. Can’t wait to get back into the flow of things before I ship out, cuz we all know that Europe may not put on the Euros but will put on the pounds *weak laughter*

drinking // yikes  Not enough water! Again! Wow! Surprise!, Peach (and lime) daiquiris, milk, and my favorite local mochas (((:

listening // to a whole host of things! Please see below: [*Disclaimer: I put the new Taylor/Brendon song on here almost ironically, let me know what y’all think, but it’s just too gosh darn catchy and I don’t know what to do now that it’s in my consciousness]

being inspired // by the weather, the art my friends are creating, and travel blogs [!!!]. Also by the athletic/fitness ventures of some of my people ^_^

laughing // at the weirdest videos I used to make as a kid.. just last night my best friend and I found some really OLD shit that I had created [for school and otherwise] and WOW what a trip down memory lane HAH.

thinking // that “life is far too simple to be complicated”. So I’m thinking that I need to simplify more. De-clutter. Drink more water. Eat less complicated things. Spend less time on social media. Not let people unworthy of your time live rent-free in one’s head. The usual. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

trying // get down to it! To re-align the goals, and focus on the positives ahead. There is so *so* much bounty right in front of me! Why let the past creep up all obnoxious-like if it’s just gonna be is detrimental to growth, to seeing the bigger and better that is the here and now [huh crazy]? And with a whole summer program and senior year ahead??

Come on Lily, get your head out of your ass.

We ain’t got time for that.

There’s a line straight out of the Compline prayer that has traversed my lips countless times:

“It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done;
let it be.”

It’s like John Lennon stepped into the book of common prayer y’all and slapped some sense into the evening meditation, whispering words of wisdom:

We’ve been there. We know what we know. We saw the warning signs.

We know the patterns that will likely follow (sending prayers in advance), where the line of tolerance is, where facades of character broke down, what better looks like, and the better that lies ahead, and what we need to get *done*.

Letting it be is peace.

Letting it be is freedom.

❤

hoping // to have the time and patience to amend my taxes, finish some leftover coursework, get some more time in outside running, get back into a blogging regimen and spend more time in the sunshine (:

loving // this somewhat consistent warm weather, the absence of academic deadlines [!!!] I’ve been able to run a lot lately and it feels. So. Good!!

praying // for my friends and family, for those who are in transition right now, for those going through a tough time, for safety as I embark on these next few weeks, for patience, for those watching, for motivation and a renewed sense of purpose, for tact, and for resilience.

Here we go, May. 

Damn, I’m excited.

xx

hunger.

/ Strictlystephanie / 2 Comments

When I was a kid I love love LOVED the first day of school.

Everything felt new, it was a time to start over, and, believe it or not, indulge in being able to learn after my brain felt like it had conked out over the summer. I loved learning.

The last few years of high school, however, I did not feel this excitement. Especially my senior year. I remember waking up and thinking “do I have to…?” I felt lost in the day to day grueling hours under artificially lit rooms, like I was roaming around on auto pilot sitting for this AP exam, that SAT, that quiz, etc.

I know many people look back at their last year through rosy lenses thinking about all of the fun and seemingly unbeatable memories… While I can’t deny there were some awesome highlights, the majority of that year for me was like a “okay, let’s get this done with so we can move on” kind of thing. I was fed up with the sphere I’d been stuck in for 12+ years and just wanted to break out.

Looking back on it now, I suspect a lot of these feelings were closely intertwined with some depressive symptoms, mixed with all of the stress and unnecessary (at times) pressures that existed within my school/home environment.

All that aside… I feel things changing.

I can feel excitement creeping in, leaking into my life slowly as I realize that in a little over a month I will be back, in my own space, at home, embarking on a course study I’ve been waiting ALL TWO YEARS to be able to do. A course study that keeps me up at night, that nags at me from a distant corner of my brain during the work day, constantly provoking me to push forward, to think forward, to aim higher than I know I have in the past.

And so here I am, still awake at this hella late hour, trying but failing to sleep because I’m just thinking about everything. EVARYTHING.

It feels as if I’m finally able to take the reins I’ve had my eyes on for quite some time… and it feels ah-MAZING. (:

xx

hello, june

/ Strictlystephanie / Leave a comment

I completely missed May. But it’s fine. May was a mess.

But now it’s June. June is full of newness in my book. I can’t wait to get started.

read/reading // flipping through self help books on the following:

  • Adobe Illustrator
  • Adobe Photoshop
  • Adobe InDesign

And to have a real book in there that I’m *trying* to make progress through:

Staying Sharp: 9 Keys for a Youthful Brain through Modern Science and Ageless Wisdom by Henry Emmons, MD, and David Alter, PhD.

Oh, and the Bible. Lol.

writing // THIS post [god bless] and also about trying to rejuvenate, productivity, and staying true to myself and my content [even amongst social media turmoil >.<

learning // Adobe Creative Cloud!! 😀 [I am SO so happy about this.], how to best combine my soft skills with my hard skills, more design related things, and how to make Instagram do my bidding.

doing / working on // 

  • all of the babysitting!
  • crafting! [insert image]
  • OBTAINING DOMAINS [whaaaa???!!! yep, you guessed it– I’m now the proud mom of not one, but TWO new domains, my beloved strictlystephanie.com and stephaniewscribbles.com!
  • cleaning out my life before I move back to school!
  • working
  • running

eating // cereal, oatmeal, pasta, doughnuts, more unhealthy things, sourpatch kids, pork

drinking // water [!] coffee/lattes, adult juice

listening // to THESE RAD TUNES for JUNE! – some new, like Panic! has new songs out! But other stuff I’m re-discovering [:

laughing // at how much coffee I’ve had today

thinking // about all of the possibilities that lie before me. I literally can’t get that one song from The Greatest Showman out of my head either, the “every night I lie in bed // the brightest colors fill my head // a million dreams are keeping me awake”…. and like, it’s super cheesy but I’m trying to think about how what I’m doing fits in with where I am right now and what I’ll be pursuing this fall and I’m so. flipping. excited. [Better than sitting around at my own pity party, eh?] [;

trying // to stay positive. I will find a car that I like that is reasonably priced. I will find a car that I like that is reasonably priced. I will. Find a car. That I like. That is also reasonably priced. This whole thing is f-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-n-g. [For those of you who do not know, I am on the quest of my life to find a new [used] car that won’t break the bank. My heart is set on a Volvo wagon, because I’m mildly in love with the aesthetic, there’s a shit ton of space in the back for ALL of my things, and they’re built like tanks. Fingers crossed and prayer hands folded.

hoping // …that I can find a car that I like that is reasonably priced  that I can plan out my goals in a more organized matter. I’m a bit of a hot mess right now.

loving // the recent weather [70 degrees and sunny?! After like, 2 weeks straight of rain?? *gasp*], my personal progress with this blog/other website. OH, and the fact that I just got FALL OUT BOY TIX FOR SEPTEMBER ♥ ♥ ♥ *joyful tear*

praying // for patience, understanding, focus, the motivation to sit my ass down and get real with myself and my summer goals. Oh, and that the Caps take home the cup. [;

My countdown informs me that there’s only 54 days until I move back to school.

xx

whoa there, april //

/ Strictlystephanie / Leave a comment

copy of lifeasoflatelyapril1

I completely missed March. Between the academic truckload that got dumped on me in March, my birthday, and all of Holy Week followed by the big culmination of celebration that was Easter, I was drained. And I was missing. Apologies.

BUT WE BACK NOW. 😛

Shall we?

read/reading // AHHHH tbh I haven’t had the time recently to pick up a book for pleasure! But I do have to read this one for class:

Image result for hiroshima book

writing // this post. Finally. I feel like I’ve been gone for eternity.

learning // to embrace disappointment, to make time for myself and myself alone, to choose my diligence.

doing / working on // 

-final projects

-turning 21 [BOY that is a STORY for another TIME I tell you]

-binge watching “Jane the Virgin” [technically, I finished the available episodes on Netflix today, but that’s only because my roommate got ahead of me and I couldn’t resist when she was watching it alone so I’m just gonna go back and fill myself in on the gaps later LOL]

-working. I get to take off one job for finals week– outside of that, 3 shifts left…. whoooooo

-translating things from languages to languages! [I’m perfecting a translation portfolio for a class and BOI that’s a lot of German….!

-conducting academic fraternity meetings pls help I have no idea what I’m doing ahhhg

-PETTING GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPERS!!! Okay so there was this fundraiser for a fraternity and I took Josh cuz he used to have a Golden Retriever and it was the MOST PRECIOUS THING EVAR because this one girl dog got all cozy with him and it was just so dakfjdakshfdkahfdksajfldjf; I couldn’t even:

-SWIMMING! Yes, miraculous isn’t it? So Josh, Trevor and I have developed a weekly ritual of working out by swimming at the rec center at least twice a week. It’s honestly super refreshing, and I’m starting to notice differences in my physical performance.

eating // mac and cheese, cookies, yogurt, pasta, so much cereal, the occasional Chipotle. My diet has officially descended into madness *deep frown*

drinking // not enough water WATER and dirty chai lattes. Bad combo oooooff

listening // to a lot of the usual —

-Fall Out Boy [basically everything off of Mania]
-Noah Gundersen
-Andy Grammer
-Lorde
-PANIC! AT THE DISCO [Their newest single “Saturday Night [Say Amen]”
-John Mayer

laughing // ahhhhhhh not gonna lie I haven’t done that much laughing thus far but I think it’s due to the stress and buckling down for finals….

thinking // about the most random things… like how I want to take yoga classes when I’m an employed adult, how I need to pack a lot more of my stuff up, the course load for next year, what I’m going to do with my summer,

trying // to stay positive. I’ve been feeling under the weather recently, I got “we regret to inform you” emails from Fulbright AND from the internship I applied for. Sigh. Ah, well– just shows that He’s got something bigger planned for me this summer, even if it’s just cruising around my home town, lugging elementary schoolers around and working at my PA job.

hoping // that I can pull everything together before the coming week.

loving // the retreat I went on with my campus ministry this past weekend, the weather that existed for like, two days [it was 78 degrees! And then the saddest part– it snowed this morning/afternoon ): ]

praying // for patience, understanding, focus, the motivation to sit my ass down and actually study for some of these exams, for healing, for presence in these moments.

Once this week ends, hell week starts, and it’ll go up in flames and then poof– the smoke will clear and I’ll be home.

And then I’ll cross that bridge.

xx

November. *squee!*

/ Strictlystephanie / 4 Comments

My goodness.

It is about high time I made an update. Crazy how much can change in a matter of weeks.

[Read/Reading] Room by Emma Donoghue– about a woman who was kidnapped in her teens, held captive in a single room for seven years and gives birth to a child in that room. The room is all the child knows in his first 5 years of life. No spoilers, I’m trying, but it’s rather riveting so far. Haunting, but would recommend.

Image result for room emma donoghue

Since I drafted this post, I’ve finished Room and have started All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, and while I’m just in the very beginnings of this book it’s already a really gripping and vibrant depiction of WWII.

Image result for all the light we cannot see

 

[Writing] essays, papers, a packing list for things to absolutely not forget for Thanksgiving break (-:

[Learning] to be more self-sufficient, better with time management, and overall, more flexible with what is, what I cannot control… and learning to see things through different lenses

[Doing/Working on] THIS POST, getting through a self-prescribed reading list, crafting (my old friend!) hanging with new friends, and trying not to freeze in this rapidly dropping temperatures. OH and watching all of Stranger Things, posting too much, making irresponsible but uncontrollably fulfilling late night decisions…  (-:

[Eating] BETTER! Grapes, milk, yogurt, coffee, tea, eggs,n Subway cookies among other things.

[Drinking] coffee (oops), tea, milk, chai lattes (what am I becoming), water

[Listening] TO THINGS. Check it out:

PS. I know they say music can have profound links to experiences and memories and wow let me just say this music collection that’s been in my ears these past couple weeks have honestly been… such a nice refreshing pool of experiences and moments… falling in love with music to fall in love to? Is that a thing?

[Laughing] in the most genuine way, it feels like, for the first time in a hot minute.

[Thinking] about what to read next, about scheduling classes for next semester, about next year’s living situation, about how it is TOO EARLY TO BE SINGING ABOUT CHRISTMAS. Just wait til the turkey’s off the table, people.

[Trying] to get better about setting daily goals for myself and having a minimal to-do list of meaningful intentions.

[Hoping] to not step on any unnecessary toes this upcoming break. Thanksgiving dinner conversation is always something interesting to behold… I know I should probably prepare my “what I’m now doing with my life,” “how school is going,” “who I’m seeing,” “what my winter break plans are” answers… ha.

[Loving] the sweater weather, getting back into doing things I used to do all of the time, the fact that Thanksgiving is literally so close and my last day of classes before break is on Friday…. I could write a novel (:

[Praying] this prayer has just been echoing in my head this week, as I’m thinking about people in the hospital, family, and friends going through a lot right now:

Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. 

💚,
steph

Herzlich wilkommen, Oktober.

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I am practically 1/3 done with this first semester and I can’t exactly say I’m not relieved. I feel like all of the past weeks have blurred together into a single mess of sleep [or lack thereof], class, some crumbling of social circles, and not enough food.

[Reading] (and I’m being really lazy right now) the below, for a Humanities class. Interestingly enough, it’s one of the first accounts of the mistreatment of natives by European peoples. I don’t like how graphic re: the torture and mistreatment Las Casas gets, but hey, if you’re into that… be my guest.

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[Writing] an essay for the aforementioned class. It’s the one class I get to do hard-core writing in, so I kind of enjoy it.

[Learning] More so than ever that easy isn’t always right, and what’s right isn’t always easy. Also learning how to take steps on my own.

[Doing/Working on] myself, quite honestly. There’s a lot of things I’m involved in, but one of them these past weeks have been me, and my well-being. One of my fellow blogger friends over at Simply Me talks a ton about this, about how self-love is such a vital part of who we are and all we can be. In fact, her latest post is a super great example of this.

[Eating] the randomest stuff. I had cheesecake for breakfast today, Pixi stix for a snack yesterday, and blue enchiladas for lunch today, if that gives you some idea of how messed up my…schedule is lately.

[Drinking] water, milk, coffee. God, coffee.

[Listening] to some feel-better songs. Take a peek.

[Laughing] mostly with my roommate.

[Thinking] about not thinking how the rest of the semester is going to turn out. I would like to not speculate and over analyse this time around.. and just see what happens.

[Trying] really really hard to practice some self restraint/control.

[Hoping] to be a bit more productive this week than last week.

[Loving] my favorite season. Everything in the world could be falling apart [ha!] but the vibrant colors on the trees that litter the mountains will forever give me grateful pause.

[Praying] for all of those who feel lost, alone… for the victims of the hurricane stampede, the victims of the Las Vegas shootings, for those who have voice in the legislature to help voice concerns about topics often overlooked, for close friends, for healing of hurt that seems bottomless and inescapable.

I woke up at the end of September, let’s see if I can stay awake to finish October.

💚,
steph

Annnnd it’s SEPTEMBER!

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I am back and in black! [I just happen to be wearing a black top, lookie there]. Being back to school and somewhat settled in feels so good and I just want to dive into all the things that are happening.

[Reading] The Productivity Project by Chris Bailey. It’s a new school year and I absolutely am taking advantage of this refreshed outlook and renewed energy to put my life on a less shambly, straighter path. Unfortunately, I am only about 10 pages in because that’s all Amazon would let me preview until the book finally arrives in my hands… that is, IF it arrives in my hands… my campus still has not notified me of a package [AKA a super important textbook that I need!!!] that Amazon reported as having arrived 3 DAYS AGO…. Humph.

Anyways, I read about this guy’s crazy experiments with productivity on his blog and I really want to see what I can use from this book in my life. So far I’m at the “teaser” pages which are just telling me to read onward to “unlock” all the stuff he has to say. Needless to say I am sitting in anxious excitement for this copy to be mine.

Photo creds to Google and the guy’s website!

[Writing] Ideas down for a column I’d really love to add to my university’s mainstream publication. According to this guy who came into one of my major classes, he said that working for the school’s paper/website is practically a springboard into a career later, which, I guess would be nice to have.

[Learning] That it is possible not to be a hot mess all the time! Hopefully the above book will help me out, plus the fact that I decided to take a more “minimalist” approach to packing stuff for college this year will make things a lot less hectic.

[Doing/Working on] moar things!

  • 100 cards 100 days  [this damn project was supposed to be done by August 11th. Since then I’ve moved back to school, completed a whole card order for a local business near me, and now I have to get back ON TRACK to finish this. Another thing I want to get good at– finishing what I started.]
  • campus ministry involvement!
  • running to class [but not running late to class — how revolutionary!]
  • attempting to run
  • waiting for MY PASSPORT :D.
  • applying to study abroad next semester…?????

[Eating] 
– milk
– mac n cheese
– corn muffins
– OREOS. Birthday cake flavor [!!!] and otherwise
– cereal/oatmeal
– SPINACH AND PINEAPPLE [finally…?!!!]

[Drinking] Water. And coffee. Too much coffee.

[Listening] to songs that get me pumped:

[Laughing] at how many things I left at home and how my mother so graciously, on the way down to a college visit for my brother, brought said things I forgot to my new place (,:

[Thinking] about the to-do list, how full this week is, how I wish I didn’t have to move my hair appointment to next week because it is getting LONGER and I would like it to not be long.

[Trying] to start the conversations. To take charge, to get what I need and not be afraid to go after what I want, because I am my rescue and the only thing standing in my way [essentially] is myself.

[Hoping] to get outside more this week and reach a goal of running 3 times a week 😛

[Loving] my roomies and our new living situation. I honestly couldn’t have asked for better time.

 

[Praying] for the victims of Hurricane Harvey and trying to think of ways to send help, other than the obvious donation that you should totally make here. ❤

Let’s do this, September.

💚,
steph

…it’s still June!

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[Reading] Another adult knowledge-y book: STRETCH by Scott Sonenshein— it’s about “Unlocking the Power of Less, and Achiev[ing] More Than You Ever Imagined” (according to the front cover. Picked up this book before I left for the beach [moar on that later!] and I’m almost through with it! It’s got some good stuff, but my favorite thing is probably how Sonenshein incorporates the stories of the lives of all these people he’s met who do their best every day to stretch their knowledge, their paychecks, their talents in order to use less and achieve more. Pretty inspiring and it’s making me regret a lot of things already! (-:  [this means it’s working…??]

Image result for stretch scott sonenshein

[Writing] a letter to me Irish pen pal. (:

[Learning] that keeping up is futile. I’m taking it at my own pace, bitchezzzzz [ha.]

[Doing/Working on] too much…

  • 100 cards 100 days  [Hey! I made it to DAY 50! WOOOOOOO]
  • Interning at my church on sundays (and maybe saturdays?)
  • Working at me job
  • Babysitting! 2 adorable kidlins.
  • Saving up for a trip to CALIFORNIA [moar on that later (;]
  • Writing my Irish penpal
  • Watching the sunrise

[Eating] 

  • sugar (cherry tarts, coffee laced with it, Gushers, ice cream, etc.)
  • seafood
  • moar seafood
  • tacos
  • boardwalk fries
  • italian food

[Drinking] not enough water, taaaaaaaangy lemonade, milk, my feelings

[Listening] to NEW MUSIC FINALLY. Oh, and music that accompanied me and my BFF on our 4 hour drive here. Take a peek:

[Laughing] at the fact that I was ambitious enough to attempt to make a VLOG for my entire 4 day vacation. God help me with the editing! Oh and because I thought switching between phone and camera footage was a good idea (-:

[Thinking] about what needs to change, how I need to “stretch”, and where I stand

[Hoping] to keep up my waking up early streak! it’s so nice to have a day feel so full.

[Loving] THIS MAGICAL PLACE CALLED TEH BEACH.

 

 

[Praying] I make it through today and tomorrow [guess who left her entire vacation savings at home!!? (-: ]

Oh look, it’s almost July.

💚,
Steph