welcome, february //

Copy of lifeasoflatelyfebruary.png

Annnnnd now it’s February? Apparently? How does this stuff happen…. Alright let’s do it:

read/reading // **STILL**  [because I’m a poop and the amount of free time I have to read has been tragically small *sob*] The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

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writing // APPLICATIONS yeesh. So many. Also notes to myself on receipt paper. Oh, and essays. Fun stuff.

learning // to hold myself accountable for my personal goals… always something I’ve struggled with and I’m trying to get back on track.

doing / working on // 

-a scholarship songwriting opportunity! After much toil and tears, Fish and I submitted the entry 2 days ago and now there is a voting period, followed by opinions from panel judges. So we lie in wait.

-submitting potential study abroad scholarship material! [I JUST WANT TO GO TO IRELAND ALREADY OKAY THX BAI]

-finishing “The End of the F***ing World” on Netflix. My bff showed this to me and BOY what a show. So far, 9.5/10 would recommend.

-working!!! ahhhhh (-:

-building an organization on campus!

-translating things from languages to languages!

-dying/cutting my hair! LOL so it was supposed to be this rich auburn but LULZ it got really dark and a bit reddish and now it’s like mildly orange and just…sigh.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever missed being blonde this much, but then again the stress of the past week has literally pulled all focus away from blunders concerning my head, so….
Many Dawn dish soap-showers and a bout of Sun-In later and it’s plenty light, and getting to be rather manageable.

eating // mac and cheese, Cookout french fries [literally, as I type this], fake samoas, carrots, tacos, PASTA, soup…

drinking // water WATER and COFFEE  I had two grandes today I’m going to explode AHHHH (oh and Berry Banana milkshakes??)

listening // to NEW THINGS. Check it: **WARNING: Copious amounts of Fall Out Boy ahead**

laughing // at bunny videos (man I wish I had a bunny), the fact that the government shut down again, and myself for not seeing I had a flippin WORDbank provided to me on a test. [#oneofthoseweeks]

thinking // about the results of these various scholarships, what my academic future looks like, the looming pressures of Valentine’s Day, the concert I’ll be hitting up this weekend… (-:

trying // to be cognizant of the fact that communication is INDEED a two-way street.

hoping // that I can get my to-do list in order and get a lot of hw out of the way before this weekend that’s bout to be hecka fun.

loving // my hair [now, surprisingly enough], the German language, food, and just the spot I’m in academically right now– I know there’s a lot of waiting involved but patience is DEFINITELY a virtue I need to cultivate and what better way to do so then to just sit back and slowly make progress elsewhere in the meantime?

praying // for patience, understanding, and the motivation to work out at least ONCE this week. Ha. [gonna keep this from last month because LOL I didn’t really work out… does climbing 4 flights of stairs multiple times a day count as working out…?]

Anyways. HAPPY FEBRUARY. Please let me know what y’all are up to.

xx

hi january //

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It’s halfway through January and this post is just now going up. I’ll take that as an accurate depiction of life’s chaos right now. It’s fine. We’re fine. [-:

read/reading // Finished This Star Won’t Go Out by Esther, Lori, & Wayne Earl and an introduction by John Green! Really inspirational book, a giant compilations of the thoughts and creative geniuses of a beautiful girl who just happened to have cancer. 10/10 would recommend. She reminds me quite a bit of myself.

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READING CURRENTLY: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey [re-igniting my self-help genre obsession! WOO!] No but honestly there’s some great truths in this book and I just finished reading a part about paradigm shifts and NO TRUER WORDS WERE SPOKEN I need to finish this so I can recommend to everyone I know.

Image result for 7 habits of highly effective people

writing // letters, TY notes, entries, major program applications [well, technically I haven’t started that yet] and SONG LYRICS [;

learning // to let the guard down, live a little, have more courage to speak my opinion.

doing / working on // 

-a scholarship songwriting opportunity! The Fish [lovingly, Josh] and I are tackling a jingle challenge for our university and I’m half done writing lyrics and his musical composition genius will finish it off for us, then we’ll record it. Crossing fingers!

-WATCHING “DARK” on Netflix. Holy crap it is blowing my whole mind.

-working!!!

-social activities!

-trying to have my phone silenced and out of reach more frequently, and take the time to do reflection every day.

eating // doughnuts, pancakes, PASTA and ice cream. Someone stop me.

drinking // water WATER tea and sub-par coffee.

listening // to THINGS. [:

laughing // at the fact that WalMart has a chant for its employees.

thinking // about the world and how it fits together, and also about my academic future… specifically if I want to pursue one path over another… HONESTLY so much of my deep thought comes when I’m walking to and from classes or when I’m in the shower it’s crazy. But I like it.

trying // to be more open and not afraid to approach people first.

hoping // that my textbooks get here soon because I was not prepared AT ALL and I have a lot of reading to catch up on now.

loving // my friends, my roomies, my place here and now. I’ve had a lot of moments in the past week that have given me pause, albeit good pause… but it just makes me aware of how incredibly lucky and thankful I am to be where I am right now, surrounded by the best people with so much laughter, love and talent.

praying // for patience, understanding, and the motivation to work out at least ONCE this week. Ha.

How’s your January been thus far?

xx

oh december // merry christmas!

[Read/Reading]  All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr [I FINALLLY FINISHED IT LOL the library has probs charged me so much overdue fee *crai*

STARTING: The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon [can we just admire the cover please?! *heart eyes*]

[Writing] POSTS and applications for things! Trying to get in a New Year’s Mindset!

[Learning] that taking of from work for like, a solid 3 weeks may not have been the brightest idea. I was hit hard this year and not having a steady income wasn’t… the most ideal thing. LOL.

[Doing/Working on] more artwork, gifts for friends, relocating this blog [more on that soon!!!]

[Eating] the most random stuff, honestly. Indian food, cereal, endless amounts of Sour Patch kids…

[Drinking] milk, tea, coffee, water…!!!

[Listening] to some stuff, old and new.

[Laughing] with one of my favorite friends ever. It’s been almost exactly a year since I saw him last, as he goes to school very far away from me. Always enjoy his presence, though.

[Thinking] about how I should start the various applications for programs I want to get into, and also how I should probably check and see what books I’ll need for this semester.

[Trying] to distance myself from drama, painful circumstance, and old news. Trying to make 2018 filled with positivity and joy, and excessively living in the dark spaces isn’t going to help anything or anyone.

[Hoping] for a joyous New Year filled with family. It’s like, the first year in a while we haven’t been home for New Year’s so I just want to take the time to slow down and re-connect.

[Loving] this re-vamped coffee/gelato place near me! I took Josh there when he visited me so impromptu and it’s WAY better than any basic place I’ve been to in the recent weeks!

[Praying] that everyone survives these polar temperatures, that people have a safe and happy New Year’s, that all who are traveling get where they’re going happily and safely.

💚,

steph

November. *squee!*

My goodness.

It is about high time I made an update. Crazy how much can change in a matter of weeks.

[Read/Reading] Room by Emma Donoghue– about a woman who was kidnapped in her teens, held captive in a single room for seven years and gives birth to a child in that room. The room is all the child knows in his first 5 years of life. No spoilers, I’m trying, but it’s rather riveting so far. Haunting, but would recommend.

Image result for room emma donoghue

Since I drafted this post, I’ve finished Room and have started All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, and while I’m just in the very beginnings of this book it’s already a really gripping and vibrant depiction of WWII.

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[Writing] essays, papers, a packing list for things to absolutely not forget for Thanksgiving break (-:

[Learning] to be more self-sufficient, better with time management, and overall, more flexible with what is, what I cannot control… and learning to see things through different lenses

[Doing/Working on] THIS POST, getting through a self-prescribed reading list, crafting (my old friend!) hanging with new friends, and trying not to freeze in this rapidly dropping temperatures. OH and watching all of Stranger Things, posting too much, making irresponsible but uncontrollably fulfilling late night decisions…  (-:

[Eating] BETTER! Grapes, milk, yogurt, coffee, tea, eggs,n Subway cookies among other things.

[Drinking] coffee (oops), tea, milk, chai lattes (what am I becoming), water

[Listening] TO THINGS. Check it out:

PS. I know they say music can have profound links to experiences and memories and wow let me just say this music collection that’s been in my ears these past couple weeks have honestly been… such a nice refreshing pool of experiences and moments… falling in love with music to fall in love to? Is that a thing?

[Laughing] in the most genuine way, it feels like, for the first time in a hot minute.

[Thinking] about what to read next, about scheduling classes for next semester, about next year’s living situation, about how it is TOO EARLY TO BE SINGING ABOUT CHRISTMAS. Just wait til the turkey’s off the table, people.

[Trying] to get better about setting daily goals for myself and having a minimal to-do list of meaningful intentions.

[Hoping] to not step on any unnecessary toes this upcoming break. Thanksgiving dinner conversation is always something interesting to behold… I know I should probably prepare my “what I’m now doing with my life,” “how school is going,” “who I’m seeing,” “what my winter break plans are” answers… ha.

[Loving] the sweater weather, getting back into doing things I used to do all of the time, the fact that Thanksgiving is literally so close and my last day of classes before break is on Friday…. I could write a novel (:

[Praying] this prayer has just been echoing in my head this week, as I’m thinking about people in the hospital, family, and friends going through a lot right now:

Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. 

💚,
steph

Herzlich wilkommen, Oktober.

I am practically 1/3 done with this first semester and I can’t exactly say I’m not relieved. I feel like all of the past weeks have blurred together into a single mess of sleep [or lack thereof], class, some crumbling of social circles, and not enough food.

[Reading] (and I’m being really lazy right now) the below, for a Humanities class. Interestingly enough, it’s one of the first accounts of the mistreatment of natives by European peoples. I don’t like how graphic re: the torture and mistreatment Las Casas gets, but hey, if you’re into that… be my guest.

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[Writing] an essay for the aforementioned class. It’s the one class I get to do hard-core writing in, so I kind of enjoy it.

[Learning] More so than ever that easy isn’t always right, and what’s right isn’t always easy. Also learning how to take steps on my own.

[Doing/Working on] myself, quite honestly. There’s a lot of things I’m involved in, but one of them these past weeks have been me, and my well-being. One of my fellow blogger friends over at Simply Me talks a ton about this, about how self-love is such a vital part of who we are and all we can be. In fact, her latest post is a super great example of this.

[Eating] the randomest stuff. I had cheesecake for breakfast today, Pixi stix for a snack yesterday, and blue enchiladas for lunch today, if that gives you some idea of how messed up my…schedule is lately.

[Drinking] water, milk, coffee. God, coffee.

[Listening] to some feel-better songs. Take a peek.

[Laughing] mostly with my roommate.

[Thinking] about not thinking how the rest of the semester is going to turn out. I would like to not speculate and over analyse this time around.. and just see what happens.

[Trying] really really hard to practice some self restraint/control.

[Hoping] to be a bit more productive this week than last week.

[Loving] my favorite season. Everything in the world could be falling apart [ha!] but the vibrant colors on the trees that litter the mountains will forever give me grateful pause.

[Praying] for all of those who feel lost, alone… for the victims of the hurricane stampede, the victims of the Las Vegas shootings, for those who have voice in the legislature to help voice concerns about topics often overlooked, for close friends, for healing of hurt that seems bottomless and inescapable.

I woke up at the end of September, let’s see if I can stay awake to finish October.

💚,
steph

Annnnd it’s SEPTEMBER!

I am back and in black! [I just happen to be wearing a black top, lookie there]. Being back to school and somewhat settled in feels so good and I just want to dive into all the things that are happening.

[Reading] The Productivity Project by Chris Bailey. It’s a new school year and I absolutely am taking advantage of this refreshed outlook and renewed energy to put my life on a less shambly, straighter path. Unfortunately, I am only about 10 pages in because that’s all Amazon would let me preview until the book finally arrives in my hands… that is, IF it arrives in my hands… my campus still has not notified me of a package [AKA a super important textbook that I need!!!] that Amazon reported as having arrived 3 DAYS AGO…. Humph.

Anyways, I read about this guy’s crazy experiments with productivity on his blog and I really want to see what I can use from this book in my life. So far I’m at the “teaser” pages which are just telling me to read onward to “unlock” all the stuff he has to say. Needless to say I am sitting in anxious excitement for this copy to be mine.

Photo creds to Google and the guy’s website!

[Writing] Ideas down for a column I’d really love to add to my university’s mainstream publication. According to this guy who came into one of my major classes, he said that working for the school’s paper/website is practically a springboard into a career later, which, I guess would be nice to have.

[Learning] That it is possible not to be a hot mess all the time! Hopefully the above book will help me out, plus the fact that I decided to take a more “minimalist” approach to packing stuff for college this year will make things a lot less hectic.

[Doing/Working on] moar things!

  • 100 cards 100 days  [this damn project was supposed to be done by August 11th. Since then I’ve moved back to school, completed a whole card order for a local business near me, and now I have to get back ON TRACK to finish this. Another thing I want to get good at– finishing what I started.]
  • campus ministry involvement!
  • running to class [but not running late to class — how revolutionary!]
  • attempting to run
  • waiting for MY PASSPORT :D.
  • applying to study abroad next semester…?????

[Eating] 
– milk
– mac n cheese
– corn muffins
– OREOS. Birthday cake flavor [!!!] and otherwise
– cereal/oatmeal
– SPINACH AND PINEAPPLE [finally…?!!!]

[Drinking] Water. And coffee. Too much coffee.

[Listening] to songs that get me pumped:

[Laughing] at how many things I left at home and how my mother so graciously, on the way down to a college visit for my brother, brought said things I forgot to my new place (,:

[Thinking] about the to-do list, how full this week is, how I wish I didn’t have to move my hair appointment to next week because it is getting LONGER and I would like it to not be long.

[Trying] to start the conversations. To take charge, to get what I need and not be afraid to go after what I want, because I am my rescue and the only thing standing in my way [essentially] is myself.

[Hoping] to get outside more this week and reach a goal of running 3 times a week 😛

[Loving] my roomies and our new living situation. I honestly couldn’t have asked for better time.

 

[Praying] for the victims of Hurricane Harvey and trying to think of ways to send help, other than the obvious donation that you should totally make here. ❤

Let’s do this, September.

💚,
steph

Oh, August….!

*sits down to write the casual monthly post when it’s basically half-way through the month*

August was once a distant dot in the future and now it’s almost over. What a ride. I think, if there was a contest for most dramatic month of this summer, August takes home the trophy. *rolls eyes and wipes sweat off brow* But hey, I am doing things and I just need to WRITE because I’ve been so swamped with getting back from vacation and continuing my normal life, wrapping up loose ends, and mentally preparing myself to go back to school.

[Reading] The Idiot by Elif Batuman. Fiction about a girl in an Ivy league finding love for the first time… I’m sorry I need to read more to tell you more. LOL. I’m super slow getting through it because my time I have available to sit down and read is depressingly limited. Trying to make it a just-before-bed habit, though. A couple nights of that should do it!

pic creds to Amazon (-:

[Writing] Welcome notes to the incoming freshmen at my school for campus ministry!

[Learning] That you need to feel to heal. A close influence on Facebook recently opened my eyes to the importance of dealing with things head-on, that feeling all of the feelings attached to the things that bother us is essential for the healing to start, because you can’t outrun them forever. So often we take time just avoiding and evading, covering up and not communicating, relentlessly sweeping things under the rug. But when you lay out your situation before you, take the good with the bad, and figure out whether you want to be the victor or the victim, and just push on no matter how intense or insane or hard the conversation is… it has a transforming effect.  Life’s too short to be dishonest with others and especially ourselves.

[Doing/Working on] moar things!

  • 100 cards 100 days  [Chugging along at Day 87!? Check out the art Instagram if you haven’t already?]
  • Sunday school planning (-: [the LAST ONE is this weekend!]
  • Working at me job
  • Babysitting! [Makin that BANK]
  • Biking
  • attempting to run
  • applying for a PASSPORT. (🍀!!!!)

[Eating] 
– the remnants of my kid’s [the ones I babysit LOL not my own. Not for a long while.] snacks, leftovers
– cereal. Lots of cereal.
– Pizza! *thinks of the gorgeous new launch of beautiful Mackenzie’s dazzling new blog site– Paper Pizza [please go look at it because it is a work of art and design GOALS.]*

[Drinking] Water. Sweet, sweet water. I’ve put the Brita pitcher up and about in my room so now I try to use it daily. It’s helping!

[Listening] to all of the feelings. 


[Laughing] at how unprepared I am for this upcoming semester (-:

[Thinking] about what to pack, what I need to put on this week’s to-do list, etc.

[Trying] to be open. To be honest, to put my best effort forward. Also trying to get my goals in line to be able to pay tuition for this semester. [I swear once this journey is over, if I’m not dead yet, I’m gonna write a book–or a super lengthy post–about how I essentially put myself through college and graduated with only 20k of debt. I’m on a good track].

[Hoping] that I can get a passport acceptance appointment this week. I am soooo ready to have this DONE.

[Loving] the fact that I got 8 required books for a Russian Lit class for less than $20…!!!!

[Praying] for a smooth transition to school.

How’s August treating you?

💚,
Steph

Hi july

[Reading] Yet *ANOTHER* adult knowledge-y book: The Superhuman Mind: Free the Genius in your Brain by Berit Brogaard PhD and Kristian Marlow, MA. I know I am reading a lot of non-fiction, pseudo self-help books lately but honestly these past ones, having to do with human behavior and brain function/human psychology… are just so fascinating and I can’t really help it that much. Anyways– this book is about the capabilities of the human mind, and deals with the idea that some people aren’t just born with amazing mental capabilities– some people train their brains to reach such potentials and some superhuman-like abilities show up after accidents or traumatic events. Also a pretty cool look into ways to increase/unlock the powers of your brain!

[Writing] this post, dammit. 

[Learning] to let it all out– stopping the censoring, stopping the paranoia, just going for it.

[Doing/Working on] things!

  • 100 cards 100 days  [How am I at day 66 already? Wow. Check out the art Instaram if you haven’t already?]
  • Sunday school planning (-:
  • Working at me job
  • Babysitting! Whee! 
  • Packing for CA
  • Biking to places \o/

[Eating] not enough. Honestly, this week has been full of skipped meals and stunted appetites. Hm.
But when I did eat:
-noodles. [macaroni + ramen of the shrimp variety
-granola
-cereal
-moar noodles

[Drinking] water [miraculous!], milk, tea. OH and coffee. UGH I was BUZZING on coffee today… [and now my stomach is highly regretting it! (-: ]

[Listening] *inserts last playlist because less work* LOL but okay for reals:

[Laughing] at this — I literally cannot get enough of this girl. This is probably the thing I remember laughing at hardest this week.

[Thinking] about what to pack, what I need to put on this week’s to-do list, etc.

[Trying] to be patient with my puppy who ONLY SEEMS TO WANT TO LICK every inch of my exposed skin. Like why is this necessary. …??

[Hoping] that the weather stays good for this week because I have a lot of traveling to do and would appreciate, especially after having like 4 days already of rain, nice weather.

[Loving] the WEATHER this evening. I took a bike ride to the local river-side park, did some card-making, did some writing, did some reflecting– there was THE MOST beautiful breeze out, some otters swam by, I watched the sunset, and the fireflies started dancing as I left. Honestly, such a perfect ending to an afternoon.

[Praying] I have the courage/stamina/willpower to commit to goals I’ve set recently.

How’s your July looking so far?

💚,
Steph

…it’s still June!

[Reading] Another adult knowledge-y book: STRETCH by Scott Sonenshein— it’s about “Unlocking the Power of Less, and Achiev[ing] More Than You Ever Imagined” (according to the front cover. Picked up this book before I left for the beach [moar on that later!] and I’m almost through with it! It’s got some good stuff, but my favorite thing is probably how Sonenshein incorporates the stories of the lives of all these people he’s met who do their best every day to stretch their knowledge, their paychecks, their talents in order to use less and achieve more. Pretty inspiring and it’s making me regret a lot of things already! (-:  [this means it’s working…??]

Image result for stretch scott sonenshein

[Writing] a letter to me Irish pen pal. (:

[Learning] that keeping up is futile. I’m taking it at my own pace, bitchezzzzz [ha.]

[Doing/Working on] too much…

  • 100 cards 100 days  [Hey! I made it to DAY 50! WOOOOOOO]
  • Interning at my church on sundays (and maybe saturdays?)
  • Working at me job
  • Babysitting! 2 adorable kidlins.
  • Saving up for a trip to CALIFORNIA [moar on that later (;]
  • Writing my Irish penpal
  • Watching the sunrise

[Eating] 

  • sugar (cherry tarts, coffee laced with it, Gushers, ice cream, etc.)
  • seafood
  • moar seafood
  • tacos
  • boardwalk fries
  • italian food

[Drinking] not enough water, taaaaaaaangy lemonade, milk, my feelings

[Listening] to NEW MUSIC FINALLY. Oh, and music that accompanied me and my BFF on our 4 hour drive here. Take a peek:

[Laughing] at the fact that I was ambitious enough to attempt to make a VLOG for my entire 4 day vacation. God help me with the editing! Oh and because I thought switching between phone and camera footage was a good idea (-:

[Thinking] about what needs to change, how I need to “stretch”, and where I stand

[Hoping] to keep up my waking up early streak! it’s so nice to have a day feel so full.

[Loving] THIS MAGICAL PLACE CALLED TEH BEACH.

 

 

[Praying] I make it through today and tomorrow [guess who left her entire vacation savings at home!!? (-: ]

Oh look, it’s almost July.

💚,
Steph

Hey, June

OH my goodness gracious– how is it June already?

I don’t understand it.

Anyways.

[Reading] Another adult knowledge-y book: Terms of Service: Social Media and the Price of Constant Connection by Jacob Silverman. Can’t wait to learn things.

[Writing] not enough. Especially after looking at so many previous posts of mine, I just have this URGE to get back in the game and git ‘er done but ugh my time is being allotted elsewhere at the moment. 

[Learning] that I have changed. A lot. In many good ways, and in some bad ways.

[Doing] too much…

  • 100 cards 100 days [and slightly failing– I need more time in the day!]
  • Volunteering with my old German teacher
  • Quitting my restaurant job (-:
  • Saving up for a trip to CALIFORNIA [moar on that later (;]
  • Writing my Irish penpal 

[Eating] SO MUCH SUGAR it’s terrible. What did I have today?
-a girl scout cookie
-strawberry pie
-chicken nuggets
-ice cream
-a hamburger

…all in that order, I believe. Heh.

[Drinking] not enough water. Again. Though I’m starting to get better about carrying a bottle around and keeping it by my bedside!

[Listening] to some oldies. Honestly, such a walk down memory lane and coming from a concert at my old high school with a theme of “decades” just enhances the feeling:

[Laughing] at things, definitely some things from the past few days. [I’d be more specific but I am honestly blanking at the moment. I just remember that I’ve laughed. It was definitely laughing. Which beats the alternative of crying, right? Heh]

[Thinking] about the DAYS I HAVE LEFT BEFORE I LEAVE MY RESTAURANT JOB like omg [I’m not counting or anything…] and about the ways I can improve my own happiness.

[Hoping] for no more rain, some relaxation, and that I get up on time tomorrow. Woo.

[Loving] music and all of its healing properties. Oh, and water. Water is a godsend, too.

[Praying] I make it through tomorrow and this week.

Let’s get it, June.

💚,
Steph