Life as of lately

the quarantine diaries: day 22 // a palm sunday

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“therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

MARK 10:9


Palm Sunday.

It’s wild to think about perhaps the “Lent-iest Lent” we’ve ever had…

Government mandates that we stay home, stay inside.For many (myself included), it’s been a refreshing opportunity to slow down…to reflect, to turn inward… which has been…difficult, revealing, frustrating, revolutionary, rejuvenating, and eye-opening…

And as I think about all the pockets of joy that exist in the liturgy before holy week, a rollercoaster of grief, change, transformation & ultimately resurrection, I think about this verse, and where we are. Where we physically are.

We’re separated from family and friends.Easter is not cancelled, but the “normal” day, which we’ve come to expect and anticipate through the years, the day of joy and brass band, triumphant hymns, glowing pastels, flowers, flowing dresses and kids running around after eggs on a lawn will (fortunately, for the health and sake of others) not be as it was in past years.

But this is a lovely reminder, a bold statement of solidarity— that the Church, (with a capital C), the nation of fierce love and faith and joy embodied by a people that can’t be fit (6ft apart or otherwise) simply into walls or defined by the physical presence of altars, pews, & kneelers, c a n n o t be broken by physical distance.Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate, worldwide pandemic or otherwise.

Watching a sermon from my home church’s online service today, this bit stood out to me: “Life isn’t happening to us. It’s happening FOR us.”
The lens through which we view everything is so important. Using this time as opportunities to be and share love with others, to grow & connect with others is something I feel like we don’t have enough of.

What time like the present?

There’s a palm on my door today, an open spot in my DMs, and a virtual hug here for you.

Stay safe friends ♥️🌿♥️


the quarantine diaries: day 15 // birthday edition

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Years from now I’ll be able to tell my kids or the kids of my friends about this…weird time.

The time I wrapped a string of green christmas lights around a one of our living room lamps and cut out palm tree leaves to tape around the lampshade.

The time I baked my own cake to look like a sunset, dressed with “sunflowers” of pineapple and maraschino cherries, adorned with black script proclaiming my aging.

The time my roomies and I sat 6ft apart from eachother in our pitifully tiny “backyard” and “patio”, with the speakers blaring, enjoying tropical drinks within our #doomsdayluau themed festivities.

The time we recreated a picture of ourselves for three semesters in a row because we’re cheesy and dig continuity.

The time we made jello shots in a baking pan, and proceeded to cut them up like brownies and serve in individual bowls to make sure that nothing & and no one was unnecessarily touching each other.

The time we turned the aggressive news cycle off to live, breathe, and laugh in the same space– to temporarily shift the collective sadness at a senior year pulled out from under our feet, to the back of our minds as we smashed each other in continuous games of Quiplash…

The time we connected creatively, separate yet together.

hello, march– [in like a lion indeed]

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I am consistently amazed by the pace of life
How quickly things change, in what seems like inch increments.
I feel like I start these posts the same way buuuut that’s just how it be sometimes, I think.

I was telling a friend earlier today that I have been broke for the majority of February and definitely the start of march. And yet, I feel as if I’m not missing much at all. my sustenance consists of friends, work, inspiring words, food I purchased at the start of January that has managed to last until now, projects, good news, hard conversations, and, in some cases, a renewed sense of vigor and willingness to not take the easy way out…

//

I have risen from the dead.
I find myself returning to this drafted post, with a restless & mildly cynical resolve to finish a post of this sort [created on the 2nd day of March before the world fell apart—] because I haven’t written in this space in what feels like ages, and I’d like to get the ball rolling again while I’ve got “all this time” on my hands to seize.  I went on a mission trip earlier this month and halfway through it, got news that our university has cancelled all classes til further notice in April…

I think I’ll just dedicate a separate post to the Corona virus drama…

In the meantime, here’s March so far, happy St. Patrick’s day! [[[[[:

read/reading/re-reading // Big Magic: Creative Living Without Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert and I just started reading Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior by Leonard Mlodinow.

writing // This post. Potentially a Media Law paper. My manifesto. A massive to-do list Who knows.

learning // to hold and sit with a variety of inevitable truths in my head at one time. I am cognizant of the fact that there are only 9~some odd ish weeks in this academic journey of mine… all of those 9 weeks are uncertain.

doing / working on //
– deferring my student loans
– meal prep
– mission trip happenings
– painting
– making things out of paper

eating // cumin-herb rice, beans, broccoli, oatmeal, whatever is left on my shelves

drinking // coffee, water, tea, wine, & tears

listening // to a lot of new things. Check it out:
www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDDGjxXjOrU6VIfRV_pBqLkMawhMomJwK

being inspired //  by the artists and creators and helpers around me in this time… people who are refusing to let this weird time get to them and instead make the most of every moment!

laughing // at the fact that I keep getting ads that insist that I download TikTok and how I relentlessly refuse to do so

thinking // about the gravity of this situation. About those affected by all of this. About how I may not be having a graduation. About being quarantined for the next few weeks. About my wellbeing and the adaptations I’ll be making.

trying // to engage in activities that “fill my cup”, that keep me engaged, and keep me going.

hoping // that this too shall pass, that we innovate with love and consideration.

loving // the gentle upswing in the weather!

praying // for healing, for hope, and for all those affected, and all that is happening… honestly rather speechless at this whole thing.

xx

steph

n o v e m b e r .

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I think the last time I did one of these, I was just getting back from another country, all bright eyed and bushy-tailed for another academic semester to start.

It’s hard to unpack in a single post just how insane the past couple months have been, on all fronts; plus, this is a “november” themed post. Hmm. We’ll see what happens.

read/reading // I recently finished How To Be Here by Rob Bell and am *almost* finished with Four Seconds: All the Time You Need to Stop Counter-Productive Habits and Get the Results You Want by Peter Bregman. And yes, I do heavily recommend both!

writing // essays, resumes, cover letters, exams…

learning // to skip the worries about perfection. To skip the worrying over getting started. To create for me. To create for fun. To explore what fascinates me. To reflect more.

doing / working on //

  • mindfulness! I’m trying this thing where, at the top of my daily to-do list, before I have *ANY* bullet points, I answer the following prompts:
    • “Today, I am thankful for…”
    • “Today, I will focus on…”
    • “Today I will let go of…”
      kind of a nice way to get your mind wrapped around the day, I think.
  • exam finishings
  • wrapping up this semester
  • creative endeavors/new projects
  • apppppplicaaaations
  • FINAL EXAMS ugh

eating // turkey. cranberries. potatoes. all the good stuff ^___^

drinking // teaaaaaaaaa! and occasionally coffee [at strategic times]

listening // to so much wonderful music. The past months have blessed me with *ALL* kinds of lovely introductions to new things, new bops, new talent… you name it. It’s a lovely landscape out there:

being inspired // by the creatives around me!!! HOLY CRAP I know so many talented people, [a few of whom have a spot in the playlist above, so check em out!]

laughing // at the latest Twitter memes! I’m not often on Twitter…but when I am! I do forget how much I appreciate the witty interplay of text with image but also primarily text as it stands alone– being able to convey a feeling or an experience in 140 characters is kind of impressive.

thinking // about how I’m going to need to balance my time in the next couple of days– between extreme productivity, self care, physical activity, rest, and bursts of fun and novelty. I’m also thinking about how I’d like to do another YearCompass before the year is out! Apparently, the version for 2019 to segue into 2020 is out, and I’d recommend it to anyone.  A really great way to look back on the year, reflect, vent on paper, and then gradually say “goodbye” to the year.

trying // new things! New music, new workouts, new mindsets, creative techniques, and trying to be bolder and more sure with my words. ❤

hoping // for some more downtime in the coming weeks. The semester is almost over, and with that, I anticipate more time for reflection, discernment, and slowing down. I want a successful re-boot before spring starts up.

loving // the people around me, their blessed presence, and the time I get to spend with them!! Never underestimate the value, joy, and blessing of a good TRIBE and FLOCK ❤❤❤

praying // for my friends. For my family. For those who are in transition right now. For those who are going through a tough time. For those who are having trouble seeing past the darkness. For those who feel unworthy, under-appreciated, and unloved. For those who are working towards their goals. For good health, patience, and safety as I embark on these last weeks ahead, for patience. For those watching, for motivation, for a renewed sense of purpose in all I undertake. For tact! For resilience! For peace and a heart full of gratitude for all that’s been given to me.

xx

steph

july.

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A little over 6 weeks it’s been, and it feels as if my summer has been transformed into something…something of the likes of a Slinky Dog– strangely elongated, but regrettably compressed at any moment, simultaneously.

I had waited and wanted for so long to get to Ireland-– and to write all about it [if you’re curious, I’ve hyperlinked my adventures]–and now I’m home again and it’s crazy, it feels like it was yesterday and yet 1 year ago.

I watched an interview with Billie Eilish on some YouTube binge recently– she tells her younger self to “never put your feelings on the internet. Ever. EVER.” Of course, I saw this *after* I had temporarily taken down this site, this space, littered with a variety of crap from the ages LOL.

But I’m thankful to have taken the time away. What a lovely time to learn big lessons– observe ourselves from the inside out trough the lens of a different culture… It’s very easy to be caged in and consumed with what’s here, what’s around, what’s immediate.

It was time for a break.

And being in a different country was a *huge* help, huge change of pace, lovely opportunity to learn new things and meet new people. And what a wonderful thing it was to step back, re-evaluate, and reconcile. And even scold myself a bit for unnecessary dramatics. #y i k e s

I also got a taste of “school stress” [it wasn’t just a tourism trip, after all], but I feel like I gained back a lot of the productivity that I lost, a lot of the passion I had lost, for learning, among other things. Finishing the “semester” with good grades again in a while felt good.

read/reading // 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan Peterson.
I bought this book [along with another one I’ll start shortly] at one of the big bookstores in Galway, Ireland. This is a *delightful* mix of “abstract ethical principles, psychology, mythology, religion, and personal anecdotes”. Right up my alley, in my genre of shame [nah, my genre of UN-shame]: The Self Help Book. This guy has absolutely NO chill and straight up disses Elmo. Among other things. I find his bluntness and personal anecdote style personally hilarious. I’m trying to work through a chapter or so before bed cuz a) good habits I guess but also b) a steadfast way to get through the book. And I don’t mean “get through”– it’s a great book. A page turner not in the way a fiction read would be, but more in a sense of “oh I’m excited to see what he has to say about this next” kind of thing.

writing // here! But also a bare-bones outline of a sermon. I was asked to say words about my “mission trip” at my home church and I have all these ideas and concepts and phrases and moments swirling around my head to touch on [maybe?] but they just need to settle, and work their way into coherent, somewhat English sentences.

learning // the art of seeking positive intent, the value of listening deeper to others [and generally talking less]. Also learning to slow down, to take time, as well as learning to pay closer attention to my body and emotions/thoughts that pass their way every day through my skull.

doing / working on //

  • getting my sleep schedule back on track! I know I’m past the getting over jet lag phase but like I need to stop sleeping at 1 am and still waking up early!
  • doing design for a multitude of clients, all which are slightly different mediums, so it’s a lovely and challenging variety I’ve got to look at 😀
  • Going outside more and trying to be healthy
  • Seeing John Mayer in concert again!! What an unreal experience. No opener, just pure Mayer. Perhaps one of my favourite moments was him shredding on the guitar for “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room”. He’s honestly just so stupid talented. And then I find out for his NY show he just played through the entirety of the album Continuum…just because he could. What a Mayer thing to do.
  • shaping up my portfolio
  • looking into some re-arranging/rebranding!
  • trying to finish off my travel blogging series of my last weeks in Galway. It’s funny– Henry David Thoreau writes in his culminating thoughts in Walden:

  • “It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves.”

  • And I *felt that!* Well, before I left the US obviously… But even in Galway [!!! we were there for 4 weeks out of the whole 6]– I felt myself falling in, getting settled, growing used to a novelty that had previously shaken me upon arrival, and it reminded me– reminded me to keep writing, keep processing, even as I kept “adjusting” and getting “too comfortable” because it would be over soon.
  • trying to keep up with a daily gratitude Trello board as a budding mindfulness practice [because who am I kidding I suck at writing things down on paper sometimes!]

eating // yogurt! spaghetti! oatmeal! apples! and LOTS of PRINGLES LOL [so idk why, but being in Ireland, and being able to secure Pringles in Ireland just SET OFF a craving for them… the sour cream and onion ones, that is…WEIRD.]

drinking // more water. And coffee. I swear, I was dehydrated for 6 weeks, and I’m *just* now getting to correct it. Can’t mess it up now!

listening // to a whole host of things. A lot of GOOD music just dropped recently, and I think this playlist highlights at least a good chunk of it, mixed in with some of my older, guiltier pleasures that I treasured both here and abroad:

[https://youtu.be/23R7BcjWU_Y]

being inspired // by the memories I have from Ireland…now stored as photos, detailed stories, and academic work. I am also constantly inspired by the work people are doing around me–whether that’s philanthropic work, musical work, artistic work…Idk. Everyone, it seems, is falling into their creative grooves and I am HERE. FOR. IT. 😀

laughing // aloud at the newest horoscope meme instagram pages I have discovered. There are times where I’m reluctant to accept my Aries-ness but this page just seems to reinforce the nuances every. single. time I scroll through. It doesn’t help that my friends enable me too, sending stuff that’s too relatable. XD

thinking // about how some days are better than others. Some days it’s easier to just launch yourself out of bed and say “OKAY! Let’s DO THINGS! X, Y, Z, GO!”, and then some days are absolute balls of mud [whatever that means].

trying // to stick to my to – do list! Er, “accomplishments” list. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change. I’ve started keeping a list of all the things that need to get done in one place, titled with the date and “accomplishments”. Somehow, “accomplishments” feels a bit lighter and more distinguished the slogging-through-the-day connotation of “to-DO list”. Ugh. Just sounds weighty. Accomplishments sounds so much more…accomplished? Idk. Just a new thing I’m trying.

❤

hoping // to have the time and patience to catch up on all those uh…aforementioned “accomplishments”. There are a lot of puzzle pieces that need to fall into place before I can say I can start a successful fall semester… between the bills and my car being a pain in the patootie and the scheduling I am trying to make work in the next weeks– patience and discipline will be the key for these.

loving // the bursts of energy and semblance of a routine I’ve been able to utilize recently. It’s getting me pumped up and feeling ready to tackle senior year [!!!??!!howdidwegetherewowhelp]

praying // for my friends. For my family. For those who are in transition right now. For those who are going through a tough time. For those who are having trouble seeing past the darkness. For those who feel unworthy, under-appreciated, and unloved. For those who are working towards their goals. For safety as I embark on these next few weeks, for moving back to school, for patience, for those watching, for motivation and a renewed sense of purpose, for tact, and for resilience. And I pray for peace– that the peace I’ve found over the last months remains something light and easily carried.

xx

steph

may.

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And just like that, I’m done.

When I say done, I mean primarily done with school. Exams have come and gone and BOY am I so thankful for that. This year kicked my ass (in a great way) and I’m ready for a new perspective, especially this summer.

I’m now toggling between life at home and packing up an apartment and it’s been pretty fun so far.

You don’t really realize how stressed you’ve been until all of it is lifted almost entirely at once. Sure, it hasn’t completely gone away, and there are a new genre of stressors to worry about (all the prep for going out of the country, etc.), but for some reason these are *insanely* preferable that those of academia.

read/reading // Finishing Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey, one of my all time faves. For a time that requires energized focus now more than ever, this book is getting me back on track.

writing // down my packing list. And trying to come up with a reasonable plan for what this space will hold in the coming months.

learning // that it isn’t going to be 100% all the time. You can’t be on all the time, you can’t be hot *all the time*, you can’t expect perfection. Sure, there are spikes of highs and lows, but what’s important is to be ever cognizant of where you are and how you’ll connect your current step to the next, and how you can do the best you can with what ya have (:

doing / working on //

  • packing! [my life up at school and bringing it back home, then from home for abroad]
  • doing design for an upcoming conference in October about teaching learning technologies!
  • PACKING for my STUDY ABROAD IN IRELAND THIS YEAR!! 😁😁😁🎉🍀
  • Going outside more and trying to be healthy
  • shaping up my portfolio
  • Recording instrumentation and vocals for the first time ever in studio for a university project [!!] I was able to work with such talented, committed people and I am so proud of the work they put forth and how it turned out!

eating // too much gelato [can’t complain!] Not enough actually healthy things. Can’t wait to get back into the flow of things before I ship out, cuz we all know that Europe may not put on the Euros but will put on the pounds *weak laughter*

drinking // yikes  Not enough water! Again! Wow! Surprise!, Peach (and lime) daiquiris, milk, and my favorite local mochas (((:

listening // to a whole host of things! Please see below: [*Disclaimer: I put the new Taylor/Brendon song on here almost ironically, let me know what y’all think, but it’s just too gosh darn catchy and I don’t know what to do now that it’s in my consciousness]

being inspired // by the weather, the art my friends are creating, and travel blogs [!!!]. Also by the athletic/fitness ventures of some of my people ^_^

laughing // at the weirdest videos I used to make as a kid.. just last night my best friend and I found some really OLD shit that I had created [for school and otherwise] and WOW what a trip down memory lane HAH.

thinking // that “life is far too simple to be complicated”. So I’m thinking that I need to simplify more. De-clutter. Drink more water. Eat less complicated things. Spend less time on social media. Not let people unworthy of your time live rent-free in one’s head. The usual. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

trying // get down to it! To re-align the goals, and focus on the positives ahead. There is so *so* much bounty right in front of me! Why let the past creep up all obnoxious-like if it’s just gonna be is detrimental to growth, to seeing the bigger and better that is the here and now [huh crazy]? And with a whole summer program and senior year ahead??

Come on Lily, get your head out of your ass.

We ain’t got time for that.

There’s a line straight out of the Compline prayer that has traversed my lips countless times:

“It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done;
let it be.”

It’s like John Lennon stepped into the book of common prayer y’all and slapped some sense into the evening meditation, whispering words of wisdom:

We’ve been there. We know what we know. We saw the warning signs.

We know the patterns that will likely follow (sending prayers in advance), where the line of tolerance is, where facades of character broke down, what better looks like, and the better that lies ahead, and what we need to get *done*.

Letting it be is peace.

Letting it be is freedom.

❤

hoping // to have the time and patience to amend my taxes, finish some leftover coursework, get some more time in outside running, get back into a blogging regimen and spend more time in the sunshine (:

loving // this somewhat consistent warm weather, the absence of academic deadlines [!!!] I’ve been able to run a lot lately and it feels. So. Good!!

praying // for my friends and family, for those who are in transition right now, for those going through a tough time, for safety as I embark on these next few weeks, for patience, for those watching, for motivation and a renewed sense of purpose, for tact, and for resilience.

Here we go, May. 

Damn, I’m excited.

xx

hello, february

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It feels like forever since I’ve put something in this space.

I’ve been busy, I’ve been distracted, I’ve been feeling, I’ve been doing, I’ve been dying, I’ve been thriving. But no matter how many things I’ve been “doing”, this still remains a nice little corner of solace amidst all of it.

Just a bit ago I saw a really accurate piece of art/words by Mari Andrew that resonated with me— January has felt like it’s lingered around so long:

[From Mari Andrew’s instagram. She’s a brilliant writer and artist too, check her out!]

So shall we?

read/reading // writing // here!

Reading these gems, Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey [still!], and Deviced!, by Doreen Dodgen-Magee

learning // the value of heavy silence, of mindful ignorance. The clarity of honesty. The futility of searching for something [someone] who never existed in the first place. That love contains folds and corners that, while are absolutely worth exploring, can be difficult to understand and navigate.

doing / working on //

  • self-care. It’s a continuing process. And I feel like I’m starting to make steady progress!
  • re-aligning, reducing, ans re-designing my life through increased good habits
  • furthering the hunger initiative at my university’s campus ministry
  • doing design for an upcoming conference regarding mindfulness in education, as well as design for a program series here at our university’s library
  • raising funds for my STUDY ABROAD IN IRELAND THIS YEAR!! 😁😁😁🎉🍀
  • trying something new! I got to pose for a couple sessions for friends of mine who are trying to build up their portfolios and it’s pretty cool! I’ve never done something like that before–normally I’m the one behind the camera, normally I like to be the one crafting the scene and making the edits–so it’s SO cool to be just able to chill on the other side and see what happens and their artistic choices come to life! 😀
  • Going to the gym. Ha. Who even am I LOL

eating // a lot better. I’ve made it a priority have *some* sort of breakfast when I leave the house, and the

drinking// coffee, trying to drink more water, milk!

listening // …to a lot of lovely, new music. Have a listen ❤


https://youtu.be/V4E1AvbNPg4

being inspired // constantly by the people around me. Sometimes you just look up and everyone is just killing the game and falling into place and it’s so exciting. Also being inspired by the topics and bits and pieces I get to read in the in-between moments.

laughing // more often. I think right now about the weather outside my window– it’s really 55 degrees in January, that’s crazy. I think about how much happier I feel in this warmth, in this sunlight, in these moments of bliss that could completely be overshadowed by some polar vortex in a day or two. I wish the weather didn’t have such a big impact on my mood.. and for the most part, it doesn’t normally; I’ve definitely had moments of pure joy and euphoria amongst the greyest, the coldest of days… but this is definitely a nice little pouch of delight to have at the moment.

thinking // about my financial responsibility, about the framework I still need to set for this summer, and how everything is going to work out. I’m also spending, admittedly, way too much time thinking about people who I can probably guarantee are not doing the same. Just this morning, actually, I was reminded about this curious phenomenon. In a lesson about how Jesus returned to his hometown to preach, how he was doubted, how he was turned away in the minds of those listening…and, most notably, how he left in peace. No pushback, no beating people over the head with what he had to say. It’s true, what they say about people having to be “ready” to listen. Unless the other party is fully receiving your words, there’s not really much you can do in the way of speaking, of convincing, or otherwise. Just something to think about moving forward, I suppose.

trying // my best to push forward, not according to the words of others, but according to what I am feeling, what I am meditating on, what I am perceiving to be the best course of action.

hoping // “zat ze weathzer stays zis mild!!” But honestly. It’s gorgeous. I’m also hoping to crack down a bit more on my to-do list so I can have room for the creative outlets, some of which I hope that I can use for a purpose, for a passion.

loving // all of the beautiful opportunities I’ve been blessed with. Sometimes it takes a moment of looking up and looking around in the immediate surroundings… and that’s when it hits, cognizance of the abundant that exists right. There. In front of you.

praying // for more clarity, more peace, more focus. I’ve felt it, I know I have. I’ve had a taste of what I can do, uninhibited and my focus laser sharp on what matters. However, I know there is still work left to do. So I’m praying for strength and patience, and mindfulness, too.

Happy February!

xx

november.

/ Strictlystephanie / Leave a comment

I just got done with Thanksgiving break.

I also haven’t done this in sUCH a long time. Oof.

To be truthful, it was a bit of a broken break. Broken in a sense that it didn’t feel like Thanksgiving for some moments.  It’s hard to think about all of the blessings that surround us every single day when one or two bits of darkness seem to stick out like a sore thumb above all of it. But. Being around family and having time away definitely gives way to lots of pondering and deeper understanding. About myself, about others, and about what lies in front of me. So I’m thankful for all of that time, for the people I got to share it with, especially.

read/reading // ugh I need to start reading againnnnnn this Christmas I just want like 2 books I can immerse myself in. But here’s what I’m working on:

White Noise by Don DeLillo

WANT TO READ: Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey

writing // here. On the pages that house my heart and who I am, physical and digital.  It’s been dead for quite awhile but you know what? It’s such a fundamental part of who I am and I don’t think I can neglect that anymore. Writing for me cleanses my soul and inspires fires within me that I had thought to be put out. So here we are, and I think, I’ll stick around for awhile, free of chains, free of filters, free of constant bombarding judgement (because isn’t that what social media is nowadays?)

learning // the value of patience. The value of honesty, the value of just falling right back into a hypothetical/metaphorical comfortable armchair after a long day like “you know what? This is me, take it or leave it, I’m gonna just sit here and watch TV/do my crossword until y’all decide to figure things out.” Hypothetical/metaphorical TV. Hypothetical/metaphorical crossword.

doing / working on // damn, a lot of things! In this respect, my heart is full. I’m so thankful.

  • a hunger initiative at my university’s campus ministry
  • a print/digital campaign for the aforementioned item
  • a scrapbook baby book for a friend of a friend
  • my portfolio! ^_^
  • self-care
  • power moves! And DAMN November has been full of them (partially because I deemed it “powermovember”. Ha.)
    • I cut my hair, I got rid of stuff, I cleaned my room, I bought a new dress, I drove home to vote (LOL cuz I lost my absentee ballot), I went camping under the stars, I re-learned the ukulele, identified a new favorite craft beer, among other things (:

eating // terribly. My diet sucks. I temporarily suck. I’m trying to use an app called “Eat This Much” to aid in my meal planning and to get back on track nutritionally. It’s odd because, when your life feels like it’s falling apart, I feel like diet and exercise (for me, at least) are the first things to go, when in REALITY they need to be the first things to stay. Oof. #mondaytruths

drinking// coffee/lattes, adult juice, water.

listening // …to a whole host of things.

laughing // with the people I care about. It’s bad because my first impulse to write on this line was “hardly ever”. I don’t really remember the last time I ugly-laughed, and I would like to change that. Sometimes, joy is something you have to curate for yourself, but I also want to take time to try to see the immediate joy around me.

thinking // about everything that has, can, and will go wrong. I consider myself to be a pretty positive person so this… doesn’t look good on me. I never used to have trouble sleeping but it seems like this fall is quite the exception. All those memes that depict someone lying still but their brain going crazy/dancing/doing weird shit is pretty accurate.

trying // to stay positive. To hold onto love. Specifically love for myself, love for others.  Specifically love for those who do some really questionable and hurtful things.  I need to choose love, no matter how hard it may be. Because it’s in the hardest love that comes understanding.

hoping // that I can just get through these last few weeks leading up to finals. It’s such a busy time and I am low-key counting my stars that I’m not going to piss off someone close to me because I have so much going on. It’s time to hunker down and take care of business, and I need to remind myself of that. It’s odd, sometimes, the timing of things. There’s so much to take in right here and right now– before I left for Thanksgiving break I was told I was accepted to study abroad in Ireland, and while it’s surreal and crazy to think about right now, I can only think about the joy that will come this summer amidst all of the things that have come into play in my life right now.

loving // my people. My support systems. My work. All of it is converging in a way that I never thought it would, nor expected it would, and I just have to say it’s something I need to hold onto.

praying // Dear God, please grant me patience, understanding, focus, the motivation to sit my ass down, look at the sticky dark in front of me, handle it accordingly, maybe put it in a box and stick it away for a while.  I pray also for the strength to keep barreling onward, for resilience, for clarity, for kindness.

hello, june

/ Strictlystephanie / Leave a comment

I completely missed May. But it’s fine. May was a mess.

But now it’s June. June is full of newness in my book. I can’t wait to get started.

read/reading // flipping through self help books on the following:

  • Adobe Illustrator
  • Adobe Photoshop
  • Adobe InDesign

And to have a real book in there that I’m *trying* to make progress through:

Staying Sharp: 9 Keys for a Youthful Brain through Modern Science and Ageless Wisdom by Henry Emmons, MD, and David Alter, PhD.

Oh, and the Bible. Lol.

writing // THIS post [god bless] and also about trying to rejuvenate, productivity, and staying true to myself and my content [even amongst social media turmoil >.<

learning // Adobe Creative Cloud!! 😀 [I am SO so happy about this.], how to best combine my soft skills with my hard skills, more design related things, and how to make Instagram do my bidding.

doing / working on // 

  • all of the babysitting!
  • crafting! [insert image]
  • OBTAINING DOMAINS [whaaaa???!!! yep, you guessed it– I’m now the proud mom of not one, but TWO new domains, my beloved strictlystephanie.com and stephaniewscribbles.com!
  • cleaning out my life before I move back to school!
  • working
  • running

eating // cereal, oatmeal, pasta, doughnuts, more unhealthy things, sourpatch kids, pork

drinking // water [!] coffee/lattes, adult juice

listening // to THESE RAD TUNES for JUNE! – some new, like Panic! has new songs out! But other stuff I’m re-discovering [:

laughing // at how much coffee I’ve had today

thinking // about all of the possibilities that lie before me. I literally can’t get that one song from The Greatest Showman out of my head either, the “every night I lie in bed // the brightest colors fill my head // a million dreams are keeping me awake”…. and like, it’s super cheesy but I’m trying to think about how what I’m doing fits in with where I am right now and what I’ll be pursuing this fall and I’m so. flipping. excited. [Better than sitting around at my own pity party, eh?] [;

trying // to stay positive. I will find a car that I like that is reasonably priced. I will find a car that I like that is reasonably priced. I will. Find a car. That I like. That is also reasonably priced. This whole thing is f-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-n-g. [For those of you who do not know, I am on the quest of my life to find a new [used] car that won’t break the bank. My heart is set on a Volvo wagon, because I’m mildly in love with the aesthetic, there’s a shit ton of space in the back for ALL of my things, and they’re built like tanks. Fingers crossed and prayer hands folded.

hoping // …that I can find a car that I like that is reasonably priced  that I can plan out my goals in a more organized matter. I’m a bit of a hot mess right now.

loving // the recent weather [70 degrees and sunny?! After like, 2 weeks straight of rain?? *gasp*], my personal progress with this blog/other website. OH, and the fact that I just got FALL OUT BOY TIX FOR SEPTEMBER ♥ ♥ ♥ *joyful tear*

praying // for patience, understanding, focus, the motivation to sit my ass down and get real with myself and my summer goals. Oh, and that the Caps take home the cup. [;

My countdown informs me that there’s only 54 days until I move back to school.

xx

whoa there, april //

/ Strictlystephanie / Leave a comment

copy of lifeasoflatelyapril1

I completely missed March. Between the academic truckload that got dumped on me in March, my birthday, and all of Holy Week followed by the big culmination of celebration that was Easter, I was drained. And I was missing. Apologies.

BUT WE BACK NOW. 😛

Shall we?

read/reading // AHHHH tbh I haven’t had the time recently to pick up a book for pleasure! But I do have to read this one for class:

Image result for hiroshima book

writing // this post. Finally. I feel like I’ve been gone for eternity.

learning // to embrace disappointment, to make time for myself and myself alone, to choose my diligence.

doing / working on // 

-final projects

-turning 21 [BOY that is a STORY for another TIME I tell you]

-binge watching “Jane the Virgin” [technically, I finished the available episodes on Netflix today, but that’s only because my roommate got ahead of me and I couldn’t resist when she was watching it alone so I’m just gonna go back and fill myself in on the gaps later LOL]

-working. I get to take off one job for finals week– outside of that, 3 shifts left…. whoooooo

-translating things from languages to languages! [I’m perfecting a translation portfolio for a class and BOI that’s a lot of German….!

-conducting academic fraternity meetings pls help I have no idea what I’m doing ahhhg

-PETTING GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPERS!!! Okay so there was this fundraiser for a fraternity and I took Josh cuz he used to have a Golden Retriever and it was the MOST PRECIOUS THING EVAR because this one girl dog got all cozy with him and it was just so dakfjdakshfdkahfdksajfldjf; I couldn’t even:

-SWIMMING! Yes, miraculous isn’t it? So Josh, Trevor and I have developed a weekly ritual of working out by swimming at the rec center at least twice a week. It’s honestly super refreshing, and I’m starting to notice differences in my physical performance.

eating // mac and cheese, cookies, yogurt, pasta, so much cereal, the occasional Chipotle. My diet has officially descended into madness *deep frown*

drinking // not enough water WATER and dirty chai lattes. Bad combo oooooff

listening // to a lot of the usual —

-Fall Out Boy [basically everything off of Mania]
-Noah Gundersen
-Andy Grammer
-Lorde
-PANIC! AT THE DISCO [Their newest single “Saturday Night [Say Amen]”
-John Mayer

laughing // ahhhhhhh not gonna lie I haven’t done that much laughing thus far but I think it’s due to the stress and buckling down for finals….

thinking // about the most random things… like how I want to take yoga classes when I’m an employed adult, how I need to pack a lot more of my stuff up, the course load for next year, what I’m going to do with my summer,

trying // to stay positive. I’ve been feeling under the weather recently, I got “we regret to inform you” emails from Fulbright AND from the internship I applied for. Sigh. Ah, well– just shows that He’s got something bigger planned for me this summer, even if it’s just cruising around my home town, lugging elementary schoolers around and working at my PA job.

hoping // that I can pull everything together before the coming week.

loving // the retreat I went on with my campus ministry this past weekend, the weather that existed for like, two days [it was 78 degrees! And then the saddest part– it snowed this morning/afternoon ): ]

praying // for patience, understanding, focus, the motivation to sit my ass down and actually study for some of these exams, for healing, for presence in these moments.

Once this week ends, hell week starts, and it’ll go up in flames and then poof– the smoke will clear and I’ll be home.

And then I’ll cross that bridge.

xx