// non, je ne regrette rien

Is it crazy of me

To want to go outside among the mist

Of cars racing past

Their wheels kicking up water from the dirty street

To want to feel damp to the bone

And watch as the raindrops

Dance down the windshields of the cars under the street lamps

Is it crazy of me

To want to fly down the road

Windows down

With the rain pouring in

A complete and utter blatant disregard for the saying of old

You’ll catch cold out there!

Especially if

I’m already sick

I’m already cold

I’m already catching it.

Is it crazy of me

To want to start everything at once

And then unabashedly decide

That I want none of it

And then just revert

To watching old Ellen re-runs

Until I muster up courage

To try again?

Is it crazy of me

To repeatedly put my independence on hold

To reach out again

In solidarity

In friendship

Towards a brick wall

That avoids communication of any kind

Mistaking caring

for interest

And understanding

For desire

Is it really that crazy of me

To hold on to the sliver of hope

That we can civilly come to terms

with who we are

And what we want?

xx

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