I’ve been taking time.
Time between classes, between appointments, between activities… just to stop and think. I’m forgoing the routine of rushing to put those earpods in my ears as I trudge across campus to get where I’m going.
Ever since my new year’s resolutions (schmesolutions!) post, I’ve been trying to be more mindful about how I spend my time. And while I’m SUCH a huge proponent for music and listening to it, I had to try sitting this one out. Situationally, anyways.
Instead of cranking up the volume in my ears
and actively moving towards greater chances of hearing loss, I’m turning up the volume on my thoughts.
It wasn’t until about the third day of trying this that I realized just how much I was missing, how much I could fit in my head at one time, how much more relaxed I’d feel after taking even just 5-10 minutes to process everything– the day, the weather, my assignments, my fears, my stressors, my desire for food (or lack thereof)… And now I wonder how long I’ve been going without these moments and HOW I’ve been going so long without these moments.
It started out with a conversation about showers. Specifically, how we use that time. Most commonly, when we’re in the shower, we have one goal to accomplish (most times, anyways [; ): to get clean. We’re not multitasking [unless you’re one of those people who brings your toothbrush in along for the ride] and we’re not actively being distracted by a metal rectangle in front of our faces. Our mind rests. It wanders, falling into its natural tendencies.
The events of the day roll around our skull, memories we’ve put away suddenly peep through the surface, we’re reminded of things we told ourselves we wouldn’t forget… And it’s quite pleasurable. There is a conversation, a boardroom meeting, a party, all happening behind our eyes and for once we’ve chosen the moments in the shower to pay attention to it.
It’s for this reason that I’m questioning my every little phone use, my mindless escapes into my headphones and my music, and my recent habits of being so uber plugged in that my thoughts fall to the wayside, shoved around by external stimuli that is, oftentimes, completely within my control.
I’m trying this still. For the next week, I’m not timing my showers by the number of songs that come on. I’m going to resist putting in those headphones on my way to class, when I’m on the bus, or waiting in line for coffee.
My time is precious. My future is unclear. Any and all time I can utilize to mull these things over I want to seize with all my might.
My mind is speaking– I want to listen.