laze daze

I hate being too busy.

And I hate being not busy.

I wish my brain would let me choose one.

However I will say that after all of the running around and hubbub I am rather content to be in the final solitude that is my bed. My dogs were sleeping inches away from me not too long ago.

I’m in a mood where I want to Tweet random things about my current situation but that’s silly.
1) because Twitter is dead to me
2) because I shouldn’t just be thinking of things to post.

The desire of going dark online comes in waves, and grows very appealing some days and loses its shine others. Those days are the days I feel like I have my rose-gold designer sunglasses on, when I don’t give two shits about what goes on the internet, when I just want to post to post, when I would just like someone to listen or see something the way I see it…

I’d say “normal” mode for me is not quite that. Normal mode for me still doesn’t really care about what people say or think to an extent– nor does it care that I posted 3 photos in one day. Normal mode for me does, however, value adventure and the spirit of the moment.

I went on to deliver a great, engaging lesson with my teaching partner in crime in this past Sunday at church. However, moments before, it was a break between classes and we had some snacks. My co-teacher and her brother were in the room with me, and we were all sitting in chairs. A father of one of the kids in our previous classes came in and saw us, and said hello, noting that we all had our phones in hand. I don’t really know exactly what flashed in my mind’s eye– guilt? Sympathy? Realization? Hunger?

All I know is that it’s hard with the latest and greatest rectangles in your hand to have a balance. I’ve been dark on social media before, and it’s never not been rewarding. I’m thinking about a lot of things, and going dark again is one of them.

Also on my list of “thinking about” [because while I’m rambling I might as well let you in on some streams of consciousness].

-Getting a flip phone. Seriously! It would probably suck when I have to do work on the go, but I honestly miss the whole sliding keyboards and touching buttons three times to get letters to show up [lol who am I kidding that mildly annoys me].

-getting back to running every day [I tell myself it’s too hot and I think my dogs legit stole my running shoes because I can’t find them anywhere!] I might revise this to going for walks.

waking up at sunrise on somewhat of a daily basis. Honestly, watching the sun come up is pretty awesome. Sure, I won’t have an ocean in front of me when I watch it, but it’s still cool. And the day feels so LONG afterwards! But this means earlier bed times. Hmmmmmmmmmm

-doing a major overhaul of my closet.  I don’t need this much clothing. The people who don’t have clothes should have them. Also, I only wear about 33% of my closet. Thinking of shopping my own wardrobe [also an idea derived from STRETCH by Scott Sonenshein– can you tell I like this book? Speaking of which, I need to finish it so I can give it back to the library on time so they don’t hurt me and ask for fees].

-incorporating a bullet-journal element into my already existing journal. I honestly am not devoted enough to  like, have a whole separate journal. I that’s one of me problems– I’ve got so much breadth but not enough depth. Working on trying to fix that one.

Hmm.
What a loaded list. And I’ve got the rest of the summer to make progress.

Thoughts?

xx,
steph

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