A Look Backward (Part III)

……Aaaaannnnnd here we are! The final installment of my rear-view-mirror peek of 2015.

Shall we?

We shall.

30.What was the funniest moment of your year, one that still makes it hard not to burst out laughing when you think about it? Well. It’s hard to pick just one… But I’d probably have to go with the time I fell off the stage in my school’s auditorium. At the instant, it hurt… But the outcome and how I tumbled out of my fall was something you’d see on America’s Funniest Home Videos (yes I am that clumsy). XD

31.What purchase turned out to be the best decision ever?
 Probably the black booties I got on my shopping spree or the half-green-half black and white skirt dress (I happen to be wearing it in the picture on the post “ A Look Backward”.  Really fab decisions there.

32. What one thing would you do differently and why? Pester my parents about my license more.  …Yup. Stilllllll waiting.

33.What do you deserve a pat on the back for? Reading the lesson/collect at my grandfather’s funeral.  That shit was hard.  

34.What activities made you lose track of time? I feel like I didn’t have much time for hobbies in 2015… But…. Blogging, designing, drawing, and seeing J.

35.What did you think about more than anything else? Uhhhhh probably the stress I had for school. And getting into college.

36.What topics did you most enjoy learning about? Though it is boring at times, the US government.  Our teacher really makes it interesting.

37.What new habits did you cultivate?
Shall we divide into “the good”, “the bad”, and “the shameful”?

On time to work! (mostly– save a minute or two here and there)
Keeping my phone in its otterbox! (LOL I say that as it sits here, completely naked :O)
Checking my email (good with college process stuff like, everywhere I turn!)
Letting all my dirty clothes pile up until I run out of clean ones
Staying up really late
Procrastinating like, everything
Falling asleep and telling myself “I’ll finish it in the morning” and not waking up 
Eating the weirdest shit on impulse
Missing the bus
38.What advice would you give your early-2015 self if you could?
Dear 2015 Me,
Stop giving a fuck about what people say about you. People’s opinions are just that– ultimately it’s your life and don’t let them tell you what you can and can’t do.  Also, for your sake, sloooooowww downnnnn. Some things can wait, and haste makes mistakes.  It’s okay for your opinions and views to change. It’s all part of growing up.  Be prepared for some heavy stuff, and do not I REPEAT DO NOT be afraid to ask for help.
Lastly, please please— do what makes you happy. You don’t have to justify yourself sometimes. Listen to your Spidey-sense.   
39. Did any parts of your self or your life do a complete 180 this year? Absolutely.  As predicted around this time last year, I did do another 180.  From my appearance to my time management and perception of the world around me, this year has certainly fostered significant change.  The workload has continued to skyrocket, I found myself not caring about homework for a while there, and I’ve become more independent than every, it seems.  Things are falling into place, slowly but surely, and it’s easy to doubt that they are… but I know they are.  And I keep doubting myself and everything (nothing new there). but I know it’s just another step of finding out who I am meant to be.

40. What or who had the biggest positive impact on your life this year? Probably the death of my grandfather.  It showed me a whole new side of grief, questioning, and just overall, life.  How fragile it is… how we can’t afford (monetarily and mentally) to waste another second of it.  I want to know that I’ve lived a life of happiness, of service, of excitement, of love… And that only happens when one is proactive and get’s the ball rolling themselves instead of waiting around for someone else.  

2015 held a lot of sadness, and a lot of pain for me. But it also held a ton of laughter and family and friends and love and just…an unsurpassed amount of curiosity that has helped me stumble back on the roadway to where I’m going.  It’s a bit scary to say that in a year, I have no idea where I will be, who I’ll be with, or what I’ll be doing…  But the unknown doesn’t have to be scary.  Think of it as an unexplored Luray Caverns that’s only successfully discovered with the curious and determined pokes of a flashlight.  
I’m ready for you, 2016.  Bring it on.

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