How have you changed in the past two years?
What a loaded question.
So much has changed.
Two years ago today I was a sophomore in high school, still under the deceptive fog that every grade matters and that the biggest goal in life is getting into college.
Two years ago today I was super self conscious about what I wore and how I fit in with people.
Two years ago today I was focused on pleasing those around me.
Two years ago today… I may have smiled more.
Two years ago today… I couldn’t see myself applying to schools and taking almost exclusively AP classes.
Two years ago today my procrastination skills were weak.
Two years ago today I didn’t have short hair.
Two years ago today I was in the awkward stages of a relationship with J.
Here and now, I’m a senior. And it feels friggin weird. (Responsibility?! Money?! What is this) …And every grade doesn’t matter. I’ve learned to prioritize. Taking everything as the same importance will kill you. I know now where I can cut corners to save my sanity.
Here and now, I’ve settled into a group of people who are all crazy– like me. And I love them to death. But the best part is? I don’t care what people think. Those weird looks as we scootered around outside the senior patio in the pouring rain on senior spirit day? Yeah. Priceless. Keep those -weird- jealous looks coming (;
Here and now, I’ve learned to make time for myself. I can’t be everything for everybody. No one can. When I need to put myself first, I will.
Here and now, I smile less. I try, but sometimes life is too much. I’m currently in the process of changing that, though.
Here and now, I’ve applied to one school already and am working on my second for a November 15 deadline– go me!! (It’s not that bad and ominous as I originally thought).
Here and now, procrastination is my specialty. I do it often, but I do it well. I can make bullshit look like it came from a cat (;
Here and now I rock shorter locks. And I love it.
Here and now I have settled into a groove with J– and though I do not know what the coming year has in store for us… I’m focused on living in the moment and enjoying everything I can and dealing with things as they come.
So much can happen in two years. And while sometimes I don’t recognize myself… some parts of me I’ve had since forever ago are resurfacing, to blend and merge with the new parts of me. They’re bubbling together to form who I am now. It’s an ever-changing process that is totally unpredictable.
And I’m becoming okay with that.